Ear Spike and Flashlight
by justpenandpaper
Summary: College is where you're supposed to find yourself, but somehow Beca Mitchell got more lost in it than she was when she enrolled. With her life spiraling, she knew she needed to find herself again. Little did she know there was a woman who stood by her that was her red tinted flashlight. One who loved her ear spikes, sarcasm, and all. A woman who still loved her even when changed.


_**Hey guys, Lex here. I've had this idea running around in my head for awhile, and I just wanted to put it down. I know I started a Mitchsen story that I didn't finish, but I actually have this one pretty much completed on my computer. I lost my muse for my previous fics bxecause my father got really sick, and just passed away this past October. After taking time to heal, I'm motivated again. All the chapters need are some tweaks here and there. I know for sure I'll update at least once a week.**_

 _ **Anyway, this isn't exactly a redo of the second movie. It instead gives explanations and digs deeper into the hints the movie gave us. You know, those teasing little Bechloe moments that just left us wanting more. It delves into the conflicts twenty somethings feel in finding themselves as well as the fear that goes into stepping into the real world for the first time along with finding the right love. Hopefully I can do this justice. Reviews and all that jazz really do make me happy and help keep me motivated, so please they are more than welcome. Enjoy! I don't have a Beta, so all mistakes are mine.**_

 _ **Lastly, I don't own Pitch wish I did though.**_

Three years in the grand scheme of things didn't seem like a long time, but for Beca Mitchell so much had changed. She went from being an "alternative" girl with ear spikes, grunge clothes, and more sarcasm than people knew what to do with, to almost the complete one eighty of that. Gone were the ear spikes, traditional flannel shirts, and bite when she spoke that kept her heart protected. Instead she would be considered girly in appearance by some and found herself loving a group of women who were the very definition of weird.

Oh, and she had a long term boyfriend. That was something that took a bit getting used to as well. If someone had told her during her freshman year that she would end up falling for the annoying boy with juice pouches, movies, and persistent flirting, she most likely would have punched them. Except, now that was her reality. Well that, and apparently having to undo the damage of Fat Amy showing her privates to the entire country while trying to figure the rest of her life out.

So much of Beca had changed, and honestly she didn't know how much of it was what she wanted. When she looked in the mirror, she saw the girl Jesse wanted. The girl who lost her ear spikes and stopped pushing people away. Sure, part of that was good for her. She needed to stop taking her fears out on others and take risks every once in awhile, but everything else? Well, she simply wasn't sure. And, she was positive her own misdirection, her own lost identity, was bleeding into the group.

Now, she sat on her bed staring into her laptop as she thought about everything her boss had said to her earlier. Originality was something she was lacking. For three years she has perfected putting together songs to make a sound no one ever thought of before, and suddenly that wasn't enough. Her core was shaken, and she was grasping at straws to try and find some stability. Fat Amy's words had helped, but she needed something else. She didn't even know how much until she was grabbing her jacket off the hook behind their shared door and walking out of the Bella house.

As she walked down the stairs and passed the kitchen, she saw Chloe give her a look of confusion. The fact that she noticed the redhead's lips twitch to signal how she wanted to say something but just didn't come right out and say it only showed how she had another thing she needed to address. In the back of her mind she knew she hadn't been fair to her best friend; to the only person who loved her whether she had an ear spike or not. The brunette just had too much going on in her mind lately to focus on that. Add to that the heaping pile of denial that she didn't want to face, and it was just easier to let the awkwardness fester. If she spoke to Chloe, she'd have to face leaving the other woman and the end to her acapella career. So, instead she just added that to the long list of things she needed to do and walked out the door.

It was the tail end of fall in Georgia which meant that the wind was a bit chillier. The brunette pulled her jacket a little tighter around her as she walked towards the Treble house. She used the gate for once and quickly walked up to the front door. The great thing about being on a college campus was not being worried about walking to a house or dorm room when it was "too late." Most college students stayed up until crazy hours, so the brunette was confident that at least one of the Trebles would be awake.

As soon as she knocked, she wasn't disappointed when Benji opened the door. His sweet smile present as always. "Hey Beca," he said as she tried to hold the bunny he was working with back in his top hat.

The brunette just shook her head at the scene before her, and nervously fidgeted her hands inside of her jacket pockets. "Hey, Benji. Could you get Jesse for me?" The talk she wanted to have with the boy wasn't one that she wanted to have in his room. While she knew that Benji would happily leave to give them some privacy, she knew all too well that there was hardly any privacy in a house shared with so many people.

"Sure thing. I'm sure he'll be right down." With another smile, he walked up the stairs to wake up the Bella leader's boyfriend.

It didn't take too long for Jesse to walk down. She knew he would have been faster if he hadn't had to put on warmer clothes since he probably guessed she didn't want to go inside. He gave her the same boyish smile that he always had which made the brunette smile despite the answers she needed. Despite all the questions she had, Jesse still made her happy. Sure, they didn't have the great love all of his movies described, but she did love him. "Why didn't you like my ear spikes," she asked before she could stop herself.

Jesse's shock was evident on his face. He opened and closed his mouth a few times as he tried to gather a response in his head. Surely this was not what he expected when Benji woke him up mere minutes ago, but Beca had no other way of getting to the point she wanted to make; of getting the answers she needed. "I just didn't think they fit you I guess. I don't know Beca, that was years ago."

The answer would have made sense to many. After all, back then they were both eighteen. Saying that it was just a phase for the brunette would be justifiable for many, but it wasn't the the singer. "Jesse, the girl I was then didn't fit you. I mean, look at me. I don't dress the same, I don't act the same, and I watch movies. Movies Jesse," she said as she raised her hands in the air. A part of her knew that she was lost and all of it was just coming to a boiling point which unfortunately Jesse was the peak of, but she couldn't help it. A part of her knew that she wasn't completely wrong.

"I just, I don't know who I am anymore," she said quietly. Tears welled behind her eyes before she could stop them. The world had never seemed so big before. When she was eighteen she had more confidence than she knew what to do with. If she had been given the chance, she would have gone to LA with nothing to her name and worked her way into the industry just because she knew she was going to make it. That girl, the one she lost somewhere along the way, she knew what she was doing. Now, well, Beca was spiraling.

The treble felt like he had a pound of lead deep in his stomach. A part of him knew this day would come, but he had tried to fight it. He didn't want to admit he was wrong. Admitting that he couldn't have the perfect ending, and that the kiss they shared at the Convention Center was just some scene in their life wasn't an option for him. Plus, letting go of someone he loved was hard. It wasn't like they were horrible to one another or made each other unhappy. They were content, but that was the problem. That was all they were. They were living the aftermath of the choice two eighteen year old kids made years ago, and well, it turned out that maybe Beca was beautiful with her ear spike in just no for Jesse.

"I love you." It was all the boy could say because it was the one truth he knew. With everything changing around him, it was the one constant.

"I know," Beca replied back quickly with a watery smile. She laughed which sounded like a mixture of tears because God, she never wanted this. She never wanted to hurt or have a failed relationship. After her father left, she swore off anyone because she knew that the sinking feeling in her heart was a possibility, but the fact that she wasn't running showed that the boy in front of her was good for her. The fact that she could look at the goofy memories they had and say that they were worth the painful talk they were having showed more than words could ever convey.

The brunette wasn't expecting to see Jesse shake his head at her words though, but he had to. At two o'clock in the morning in the middle of October Jesse needed to have the courage to show that he loved her. He needed to give her a fighting chance to have what she is too dense to see right before her eyes. A part of him wished that he was strong enough to help her get there, but he knew he wasn't. All he could do was his part, and let her go. "I love you, and that's why I think we're done. I mean, Beca, you know you came here in the middle of the night for a reason. We just can't keep running from what we know has been staring us in the face for awhile now."

Even though the man before her wasn't letting himself cry, it was obvious that he was hurting. She could hear it in the way his voice changed, or see it in the way his body was more rigid in order to stop the shaking that wanted to take over. He was trying to be the strong one, and while that was meant to make her feel better, all it did was make her hurt more. It made her ask why she couldn't just be in love with the guy in front of her because for all of his annoying habits, he honestly did mean well.

With a small, sad smile, Jesse stepped forward and gave Beca a hug, and the woman allowed herself to find comfort in the embrace one more time. She hated feeling her tears wet his shirt, but she hated feeling one of his own fall through her hair even more. Long minutes passed before the treble pulled back with a kiss to her forehead and then turned to head back inside.

"Jesse," she croaked out just as his foot hit the threshold, and when he turned to look at her quizzically she allowed herself to be emotional with him; to show just how much she had grown one last time. "I love you too."

"I know," was all Beca heard in response before she turned on her heal and headed back to the Bella house. Not all of her changes were bad, but she knew she had to find a balance.


End file.
